I am fighting with the “feeling of emptiness”: Shahrukh Khan

One of the world’s most loved actors, superstar Shahrukh Khan says, though he is all happy and lively from out, he is continually fighting with the “feeling of emptiness”.

The actor was in Goa lately, attending the ThinkFest conclave. He told, “There is something wrong in me. I sense it. I feel it but I don’t know what it is.”

“I have a beautiful family. I have a few friends with whom I spend lot of time. I don’t want to die like my father. I don’t want to be unknown. I would like to be just successful. Believe me it is lonely at the top.” Shahrukh further added.

“Somehow there is this feeling of emptiness. I have this restlessness, strangeness, which I fill up with my acting.”

Shahrukh, recalling his childhood days, how his family was always short of money and the day he lost his dad, told, “Once, my father took me to show a cinema in Delhi. He did not have enough money. We sat near Kamati auditorium and he told me that it is wonderful to see the vehicles passing. When I want to take my son out for a movie I should be able to show him the movie and not the cars.”

Shahrukh Khan is one of the most successful Indian actors. Yet, at times, he has a fear of failure that his father went through.

“I think my father was most successful failure in the world and I am proud of him,” the actor told, adding that his father was a “handsome pathan”.

Also, recalling his father’s death, the actor told, “My sister just collapsed and for the next two years she did not recover from the shock. She didn’t cry but she could not face the reality of our father’s death.”

“A lot of things which are Bollywood-like or flamboyant in me are actually to cover up my emotions. I don’t have guts to be so simple. To avoid depression I act.” Shah Rukh said that 90 per cent of the things which he depicts in the movies are experiences of his life.

In the meantime, Shah Rukh ruled out that he was going through a midlife crisis and termed some instances of his arrogance as being a typical “Delhi boy.” “I am a Delhi boy…,” he told.