The legend composer Rahman has severe suicidal tendencies?

He's mysterious and charismatic, and there's a lot that the world at large would love to know about the "Mozart Of Madras." For starters, that he isn't particularly fond of being weighed in the same scales as the legendary composer. "Poor Mozart should be left alone," states Allah Rakha Rahman.

Few know that he was a loner at age five who stayed at home most of the time; a boy who locked himself in a room and played the harmonium for hours. And that had… guard your psyche or swoon… he had severe suicidal tendencies!!

These and more such startling facts will be unveiled in 'A R Rahman The Spirit Of Music' (Om Books International) on April 6, 2011. The first ever official biography of the tuneful genius penned by Nasreen Munni Kabir illumines his spiritual leanings, talks about how he approaches his work and understands his own life.

The bio that took shape over a span of three years, with several meetings and interactions on Skype, details the role of his mentor Mani Ratnam, speaks of how he met his spouse Saira, how he was depressed by 9/11 and the Iraq war. The book also says how he penned the song number khwaja mere khwaja (Jodhaa Akbar) under the pen name of Kashif, after he'd met his spiritual teacher.

It also spotlights the most important turning point in the life of the Oscar winning composer. Even as he was fighting persistent suicidal thoughts, his mother sold all the jewellery kept aside for the marriage of his sisters to purchase the first Fostex 16 track mixer/ recorder.

Rahman discloses in a periodical quote, "Those days music in Chennai was recorded on a single track and here I had 16 tracks. All my suicidal thoughts and my low self esteem seemed to fade away… as I sat in my music room that night feeling like a king. The new me was born and the future seemed glorious."